Taking my wellness in to my hands
I have always been the sort of person who, if the answer to a problem isn't apparent, I will go and find it. I will educate myself and take matters into my own hands. But for many years, I was unable to get myself to a place where I felt strong enough to manage my mental health without the support of medication. Until I was in my 40's and the medication was no longer working, it made me feel worse. The medication had bottomed out, and the only way I had any relief from the symptoms of depression and anxiety was to swap to a different antidepressant. This yo-yo-ing of different medications went on for many years until I had had enough and decided to take my wellbeing into my own hands. I always had an idea of where the roots to mental health issues lay, but the years had buried them under many feet of silt, and I was unable to and scared to uncover them and cut them away, so they could no longer feed the stems which fed off the roots. For me, finding the right therapist and therapy was the key to unlocking the door of my story.
When I was 13 years old, my parents divorced; my way of coping with the stress was to shut down. I slept a lot, didn't eat and shut myself off from people. This stress response was seeded during my early childhood. The divorce activated those seeds and the roots kept feeding the seeds.
At the age of 24, I was diagnosed with postnatal depression. I went on Prozac and was referred to a counsellor. I continued to take different antidepressants on and off for the next 21 years. I had lots of counselling during those years, but nothing was changing.
In 2018, I realised the medication was making me feel worse. I was sleeping a lot during the day. I had put on weight and couldn't shift it. I was drinking wine nearly every night of the week. I wanted to hide and see nobody—all signs I was depressed. I felt completely lost. I could no longer remember who I was without the feeling of depression and anxiety weighing me down. I didn't realise it then, but my subconscious mind was letting me know I had to deal with my shit; the sticking plaster was no longer going to work. I decided it was time to look beneath the plaster.
My journey to recovery.
With the support of my doctor, I tapered off Sertraline over 6 months.
I read everything I could get my hands on, educating myself on the latest developments in mental health. How inflammation in the body can cause depression. I changed my diet and started walking twice a day. I lost half a stone within the first month of no medication and I stopped drinking. And although my nervous system was fragile, I could feel myself returning to who I was before I went on medication. I briefly had more counselling and did online guided relaxations.
A year later, with my strength and resilience restored, I found a local hypnotherapist. I started having hypnotherapy combined with EMDR and TIR. I worked on my inner conflicts clearing past trauma. Found the root cause of my depression and healed my inner child.
Hypnotherapy helped me make permanent changes because hypnosis works with the emotional (subconscious) mind. This is where all of our thoughts, beliefs, and experiences can be found. Once the root cause of my depression was brought into my conscious awareness, I could work on it. My subconscious and conscious mind were aligned and working together.
As I started healing and getting better, people started telling me how well I looked, and I realised this was because I was healing from the inside. My inner light was shining again, and the sparkle had returned to my life. The results of this inner work didn't happen overnight. I had blocks of sessions with time to process and integrate everything in between.
Clients often ask me if I still have hypnotherapy and the answer is yes, I do. Because even though I am a therapist and understand my mind much better now, I am human, and life isn't linear. It throws the occasional curveball. When that happens, it can bring up old patterns of behaviour or something new I didn't realise I needed to work on. The difference now is that I am only one or two steps off the path I want to be on, not 20 steps or 50 steps away. I need fewer therapy sessions to find my way back, and the gaps between appointments get longer each time.
I am thankful every day that I found hypnotherapy. I no longer suffer from depression or anxiety. I have spent time working on my mindset, and physical health. Drinking alcohol has become something I choose to do, rather than something I habitually do each evening. Which means I seldomly drink. It changed my life on a personal and professional level.
Passing the healing on.
My experience of hypnotherapy led me to train as a hypnotherapist. So, I can help other women to heal from their experiences, discover their full potential and follow their path to find their sparkle. Healing is possible. It takes time, courage, self-reflection, and lots of self-forgiveness and self-love, but it is possible. And I promise you, on the other side it's much brighter. If you are tired of feeling lost and want to remember who you were before life covered you in the blankets of expectation, limiting beliefs, adverse experiences, worry, anxiety, people-pleasing or self-sabotage, I would love to help you. You can contact me here Alternatively you book a free 20 minute with chat me here